Dating a single parent
“When a single mom begins dating, they may just be looking for a break, a supportive ear for the challenging period they’re going through, fun outings, and sexual companionship that provide hope for the future,” says psychotherapist Sari Cooper, director of Center for Love and Sex. D., describes it as a “compulsive need to be a caregiver to romantic partners you perceive to be in distress.” If, like me, you style yourself as a happy-go-lucky, freewheeling guy, the challenges a single mom faces down day in, day out can compel you to want to wade into the mire and solve problems.Cooper adds they may also begin dating with the longing for a serious relationship, so it’s important to both know what you want and be honest about whether it’s compatible with what she’s looking for and check in regularly as your relationship progresses. I’d seen this White Knight personality trait in other people and seen how it can be counterproductive.Given that I wasn’t looking for anything serious and was dating other people, I was more interested than taken aback.Likewise, she didn’t seem put off when I told her that I’d had a vasectomy and had plenty of thoughtful questions about why I’d done that.When I first signed up for online dating, I listed that I was open to dating people who had children.My friends who were helping me write my profile had one response: Are you sure about that?We met at a tapas bar soon after we matched on a dating app.Halfway into our first glass of wine, the petite and attractive woman sitting across from me divulged that she had an eight-year-old son.
“Kids are smart and highly attuned to motives that may threaten their need for protection and attention,” says Meyers.
As Meyers notes, “getting upset because of cancelled plans or pushing to be introduced to the child will not help a relationship last over many years.”Discuss commitment: Eharmony’s Singles and Desirability Study also found that 70% of respondents are looking for a serious relationship.
This could be especially true for singles with children.
Be honest about what you want and how a relationship makes you feel.
While a parent’s number one responsibility is their child, you need to put yourself first.