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(Life Wire) -- When Lynn Houston was 27, she met an affectionate young man during a business trip to Virginia.

Although she lived in Arizona, the two began dating; they married six months later.

Some questions to discuss sooner rather than later: If we have kids, will one of us stay home? "Premarital counseling can get these questions out on the table in a civilized way, and prevent problems down the road," says Swenson.

"This is most common if you felt rejected or abandoned by a parent and still haven't worked through it," says Stephen Treat, director of the Council for Relationships, a Philadelphia nonprofit.

"Your psyche wants to go back to the scene of the crime, so to speak, and resolve that parental relationship in a marriage." Women who felt abandoned by their fathers are likely to choose emotionally unavailable husbands, for example, and men raised by hypercritical moms will be drawn to wives who pick on them, he says. "You think you'll be able to heal this way, but you're probably no more equipped to deal with the situation than you were as a child, and the parental dynamic gets repeated in your marriage, usually with bad consequences," he says.

Both men are "really interested in politics and the stock market, and they agree on everything," she says.

"Also, when I'm upset about something, they'll always help me put it in perspective." Both share the name Mike, and they even look alike.

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