Giving out your phone number and online dating
Which leaves pretty much every sympathetic man in a bit of a bind. Most men agree there should be consequences for perpetrators of sexual harassment. I wonder if I have anything in common with Weinstein, Ailes, and Trump. Oftentimes, people get away with this behavior not only because women do not report it, but also because men can turn a “blind eye” and ignore it.
(If he wouldn’t have considered her in a “weaker” position, he wouldn’t have tried to begin with).
If all those men, however, would tell him that was a little over the top and rather uncalled-for, he was just knocked down a few notches by his own peers. Oftentimes, men who commit those crimes are not necessarily the most physically powerful.
When it comes to cat-calls and remarks in general, it is often not the fact that they were done at all, but the way things were said.
And yet, conversations like this remain the third rail of the internet. Despite my best efforts to offer an open, honest, male response to sexual assault statistics, I got my ass handed to me. How can a man who is an ally strike the right tone much less make positive change? Other than that, maybe offer support, and try to be non-judgmental toward the victims.
If a man proffers his thoughts on sexual assault without impeccable sensitivity and understanding he risks being called a victim blamer, rape apologist, or misogynist. How can we wrestle with the problem and talk about these issues without rancor, ad hominem attacks, or slippery slope arguments? My belief is that, for reasons previously explained, women — not men – are the best advocates for creating awareness about sexual harassment. I’m only pointing out that #Me Too is infinitely more powerful than, well, me. Fear of having to be grilled by the police, go through the court system, and remind herself of the assault. I don’t think so, but these days, the lines are blurry for even the most liberal men. But anything else (and sometimes even that) could be misinterpreted.