What to say in the 1st message on online dating

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Ideally, write it before you leave the house to do something interesting. Have fun writing your messages, and enjoy the process of meeting someone new.That way you’ll be in a positive mood, you won’t be tempted to write too much, and you’ll be too busy to keep checking for a reply. And when you do, we’ll be pleased to receive an messages from you, telling us all about it.So, “You looked like you were having a blast on your skiing holiday! Where would you most like to go skiing that you haven’t been yet? One hundred words is about right: long enough to include a compliment, to say what caught your eye about their advert, mention something you have in common, and to ask a leading question.Don’t feel you have to sell yourself or introduce yourself too much – as we’ve said, they’ll definitely visit your profile and read about you there. Plus, the shorter your first message, the more intriguing you’ll be. You might say you’re busy and leading a fun, full life, but if you’re sending messages at 9.00 on a Saturday night, how busy can you be..?“I deeply regret that it is my unfortunate duty to bring it to your attention that you are above and beyond our maximum standards for looks,” the example message reads.

The easiest way to start a conversation with anyone new is to ask a question, so include one.

Tailor it to their interests or their work, or even one of their photos.

Ask open questions that require more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ reply, because these are more interesting to answer.

If they love a certain stand-up comic, use the beginning of one of their jokes you know.

Create something that’s witty and warm and demonstrates you’ve read their profile, as opposed to just flicking through their photos. Research has shown that people warm towards hearing their own name in conversation.

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